Be Confident – Non verbally
Hey guys, I wanted to discuss this topic as I briefly went over it previously on my last article and I think this is something which is vital to your whole appearance.
So being confident non-verbally. It is very much easier said than done, I understand that a lot of us can feel very self-critical and put a lot of pressure on ourselves to meet society’s demands or reach the stereotypical standard that is considered acceptable.
What I want to say is that’s bullsh*t! I want to help you guys and those reading that it is not about meeting everyone else’s needs, but it is about making yourself feel good in how you dress, how you look, present yourself and how you speak.
I see it so much everyday and everywhere, people are shy or feel self-conscious about how they present themselves. I think each person should be whoever he or she wants to be; they should represent exactly what they want to and allow everyone else to embrace that. Whether that meets the other person’s standards or not, what is important is that you feel good in you. This is more than just your appearance, but you feel good in you and who you are.
I will be honest, I do see some people that have this approach and they can dress or speak in ways that put me on edge, or things, which I do not necessarily agree with, but it is not up to that person to satisfy my requirements and meet the standards of me. It’s about that person feeling comfortable in themselves, and knowing who they want to be.
A very important tip that I have learned and I think is good knowledge for anyone, is understanding prejudgment. It’s automatic in all of us. Apparently we judge people immediately the second we see them, give it 7 seconds and we have an opinion of that person, we have given them a personality and stereotype.
Where am I going with this? What I want to say is that prejudgment is something in all of us, which will never change, so you are not in control of your first judgment, but you are in control of the second! What do I mean by this? Basically, we meet all these people in our lifetime and judge them without speaking a word to them.
We should give them the opportunity to allow themselves to speak to you, or allow them time to explain. That way your judgment can completely change. For example, you see a homeless person, and we can already put stereotypes on them. They have put themselves in that situation or they are not willing to work and they drink, smoke and are involved in drugs. These are just some of our initial thoughts. But have we spoken to them? Have we given them the opportunity to explain themselves, allowed them to justify their reasons for their situation?
I have done this in the past and spoken to the homeless and by some means they do relate to the examples stated above, but a much higher majority are dealt a situation which they do not want to be in. They are trying all they can do to get their lives moving forward and in the right direction.
So what I want you to take from this is the next time you see someone in the street, school or work, though you have already judged him or her and given your own opinion on them, change that perspective and know that they may be something so different to what you think.
Take control of your judgment
We are not in control of the first prejudgment but we are in control of the second.
So why does that relate to confidence? Well if we are judging society and the people we are surrounded by, we are part of a stereotype where we must meet the needs and a standard. But who sets these standards? Do we do this ourselves? Celebrities? Social media? Does it fundamentally matter?
If we judge someone based on their appearance before we even speak a word to them, are we not encouraging this behavior? Shouldn’t we receive criticism in return?
Be confident of who you are
What I want you to understand, is that it is OK to judge people, a lot of this communication is non-verbal. It is in our heads, but we really should not let it be set in stone, we are simply scratching the surface. So I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin and let your own confidence shine through – represent who you are. Others will judge, because it is automatic and easy to think but not say. However, they don’t know the truth behind you and nor should you let that change how you act just for them. You do YOU!
We have to understand that others will always have an opinion and think about us non-verbally. We should also understand the way we respond and act about how they think. By understanding the way we think, we can learn to see how others appreciate us and hold their opinions on us. I want to help you understand whether your appearance is something you are comfortable in or not, others will always have opinions. So, by all means, be who you want to be. Let others have their opinions and judgments, as long as you understand that it shouldn’t affect the way you are because in reality they’re being constantly judged too. We should all embrace who we are and want to be, which is the mindset we all should look to have.
Being confident does not always have to be reflected by leadership skills, or how you are in front of an audience. This is based on non-verbal confidence.
Another food for thought. How many people do we see throughout each day? Do we remember each and every person? Unless they do something that captures our attention, we 9 times out of 10 have already forgotten what they look like.
Honestly, you really don’t need to worry so much about others since you’re not considering them all that much yourself, so why expect them to do the same? I get that in school this can sometimes be different or more difficult because you see a lot of the same people on a regular basis and particularly if you are out trying to impress someone out there.
What I will say is that when you’re being yourself, you’re true to you and being confident will send out a signal greater than trying to hide or change something that isn’t you. The earlier you see this the better you will feel. It really is extremely important to know what you want and finding yourself.
I hope this has been useful and helps you to reflect on your own style, presentation, and confidence in what you wear and wish to show to the world. You have the power to make the opportunities and take strides in your life to put yourself where you want to go.
Take this with a pinch of salt if that’s easier, but learn to be confident in you. It is vital and will make you the best you can be.
Until my next one, take it easy guys.